Samplekanon

Mia You

On July 13, 2016 by samplekanon

HARVARD WIVES 


Prelude


I saw the best minds of my gender destroyed

           by marrying Harvard professors, starving

intellectually repressed, well-dressed, willing

themselves through one reception after

           another, looking for the wine bar and

hoping for a phone call from the babysitter

at home, perfumed

           perverts or primadonnas

                           or parenthetical asides

reciting from memory the abstracts

           of their husbands’ latest publications and examining

           red lipstick on napkins in search of something

wholly their own,

                                  who wonder at woodland

            etchings posed on dining room walls,

                                                                              who ponder

the etymologies of gazebo and drone,

                                                                  who debate the U.S.

            intervention in Syria with Stephen Greenblatt and Steven

                    Pinker based on what they’ve all read in The New Yorker,

who chase peas across heirloom dining ware while dreaming

           of youth and solitude and the exhilaration

                    of reading Allen Ginsberg and not having

                                                                                 to say anything about it,

                                                        who wander

             the dim lit alleyways

             of the imagination too

             sordid for scholarship

             or scrutiny or even the

             Pusey stacks and

                                                         ask for another glass of water.

I saw their rage rubbing stains, clearing plates.

I saw their silence as they listened

to the husbands of other women.

I saw their grace in rising from the table

           and felt the silent shudders of laughter

that keep us               
                            from exposing
our own!

 –




I Introductions

 

Anne Bradstreet is a Harvard wife.

Abigail Adams is a Harvard wife.

Eliza Farrar is a Harvard wife.

Eliza Follen is a Harvard wife.

Elizabeth Tillman James is a Harvard wife.

Mary Ann Connelly James is a Harvard wife.

Catherine Barber James is a Harvard wife.

Alice Gibbens James is a Harvard wife.

Dorothy Pilley Richards is a Harvard wife.

Adrienne Rich is a Harvard wife.

Susan Sontag is a Harvard wife.

Masako Owada is a Harvard wife.

Mary Magdalene is a Harvard wife.

Homi Bhabha is a Harvard wife.







II Small talk

“When did you return from ________?”

“I know the greatest little restaurant in ________.”

 “Are ________ and ________ in school now?”

“Do you speak ________ and ________ with them at home?”

“What is ________’s latest research about?”

“You know, I’ve always been interested in Byzantine ________.”

 “I saw his essay in the ________ Review of Books.”

“What do you think of what’s happening in ________?”

“This reminds me of something I read in The ________ last week.”

 “Well, ________ Krugman thinks that ________ is not going to last much longer.”

“So, are you still ________ these days? Do ________ get some ________ to

yourself?”

“________, I know, I probably drink ________ glasses a night.”

“Will you excuse ________ while my eyes ________ over, and I write this ________

in my head?”

“Does your ________ keep his ________ open during office hours?”

“Is it true you were his ________ student and broke up his ________ marriage?”

“Do you ever ________ which of the three ________ scholars you’d fuck, ________

or kill?”

“Are you ________ yourself under the ________ to remind yourself ________ are

other kinds of pain?

“Is it really ________ you have a ________ degree from ________?”

“Is it true you haven’t left your ________ in ________ days?”

“Do you find ________ reciting ________ in Old ________ when he put his

________ into your ________?”

“________ ________ ever ________ ________ ________ a plumber?”





IV Would you like more wine?

 –

1.

Botanic Gardens Children’s Center – $2642/mth

Harvard Yard Child Care Center – $2340/mth + parent class time 2hrs/wk

Oxford Street Daycare Cooperative – $2146/mth + parent class time 2hrs/wk

Peabody Terrace Children’s Center – $2629/mth

Radcliffe Child Care Centers, Inc. – $2678/mth

Soldiers Field Park Children’s Center – $2678/mth

 

2.

Average listing price for houses in Cambridge, MA – $1,124,147

Average price per sq. ft. – $553

Average mortgage payment in MA – $1204/mth

 Average apartment rent (cost per bedroom) – $1,314/mth

 

3.

A week of groceries from the Fresh Pond Whole Foods – $379.68

A week of groceries in Chad, as seen in Time Magazine – $1.23

An issue of Time Magazine at the Fresh Pond Whole Foods – $5.00

 

 4.

As part of your relocation benefits, The Board and Trustees of Harvard University will provide a low-interest loan for your new Cambridge home’s mortgage. The University also will take 50-percent of the house’s appreciation when/should you sell it. And should you transpire before your mortgage has been paid fully, The University will become the primary beneficiary of your life insurance.

 

 5.

We’re so glad you’re here. Please sign here:


Mia You was born in South Korea, raised in the United States, and currently lives in the Netherlands. She is the author of I, Too, Dislike It (1913 Press, 2016) and Objective Practice (Achiote Press, 2007).

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